This week we watched The Hard Way from 1989, aka Hard Bull, aka Columbian Connection, aka La Via Della Droga. It was Brittany’s pick, and chosen as another step towards our goal of watching as many Miles O’Keeffe movies as possible.
In The Hard Way, we follow a small special forces group (lead by O’Keeffe’s “Bull”) who are dropped into the Amazonian jungle in pursuit of a ruthless drug lord. With the local government unwilling to extradite the cartel leader, the US sees no other path to justice- they handpick 3 operatives to track the cartel, extricate the leader, and transport him back to the US to face charges for his crimes. Needless to say, things don’t go as planned, and the group finds themselves wildly outnumbered and fighting their way to the base of the cartel’s operations. Can Bull & co. beat the odds, survive the jungle, and bring their prisoner back to face justice? Or will the cartel have the last laugh?
We discuss the paper thin plot of this film, the absurd amount of shots fired, and the subpar miniatures of exploding helicopters. Enjoy!
That’s right folks, we’re back at it this week with another super slimy movie to review, all for your enjoyment. It was Brittany’s turn to pick this week, and yet again, she could not escape her prediliction for films made in 1989. We watched Clownhouse, and it was… weird.
Casey is the baby of the family, and his brothers Geoffrey and Randy definitely don’t let him forget it. When we meet Casey, he is just waking up from a terrifying nightmare about clowns, during which he subsequently wets the bed. We learn this is a reoccuring event for him. Wanting to break Casey out of his phobia, his mother forces the boys to go to a carnival while she is out of town. The carnival goes about as well as expected, and they continue to tease Casey about being such a baby. Little do they know, there was a breakout at a local asylum that very day, and there were now three lunatics disguised as clowns preparing to pay the boys a visit…
This film is, in a word, grimy. If you know anything about it’s director- human trash can, Victor Salva- or the scandal surrounding this movie, this opinion won’t come as a big surprise. BUT, while we do touch upon it briefly, we tried to really judge this flick based on it’s own merits. We discuss how Sam Rockwell has been killing it since day one, the bogus house rules this mom has put forth, and how much we wish this insane clown posse had speaking lines. Listen up!
We tried to bring you a horror review this week, in celebration of this most magnificent month… But it didn’t QUITE pan out that way. Our friend Tyler graced us with his presence for Brit’s pick this week, and she picked 1979’s, Don’t Go In The House.
Donny is a very quiet and withdrawn man who, seemingly, does not have a lot of friends or interests outside of taking care of his elderly, ailing mother. It isn’t long before we learn about how overbearing and abusive his mother was, as we’re shown her holding his arms above a lit stove in an attempt to burn the evil out of him. After a particularly dramatic workday, Donny returns to their home, only to discover that his mother had passed away during the day. Donny is pumped, and celebrates by cranking the music, smoking cigarettes in the house, and jumping all over the furniture. His excitement is cut short however, by a sinister voice in his head, a voice that is telling him to go out and punish evil women… To burn the evil out of them.
Will someone put a stop to Donny before it’s too late? Or will Donny and his flamethrower reign in terror as they purify the masses?
This movie promised us a madman terrorizing women with a flamethrower… Did it deliver? We discuss our varying ideas of what it means to “terrorize”, everyones inability to Stop-Drop & Roll, and the overbearing-mama-trauma that creates psychos. Listen up!
Welcome back, Citizens!
We jumped back in this week with Brittany’s pick, and after much consideration, she picked 2014’s The Guest, directed by Adam Wingard. Our good pal, Fallon, had recommended this flick with much enthusiasm, so who else would we invite to be OUR Guest on this episode?
After learning their son, Caleb, has died in the war in Afghanistan, the Peterson family is trying to hold it together and cope with their devastating loss. Soon after, they are visited by David- a fellow soldier, who claims that he was Caleb’s best friend, and is visiting them as Caleb had requested. David seems like a great guy- polite, reserved, helpful. He takes Caleb’s brother, Luke, under his wing and tries to help him deal with his high school bullies. He bonds with Caleb’s parents, and attracts the attention of Caleb’s sister, Anna. But soon strange things start happening, and Anna becomes increasingly suspicious of David, and sets out to discover who their house guest REALLY is…
This movie spans several genres and moods, and does so with surprising deftness. Listen up as we discuss a plethora of oddities, including: female attraction to intimidating sexuality, the fuckin’ rad synth soundtrack, erotic stabbings, and why sleeper-cell agents give weirdly good advice. Enjoy!
We’re back at it again this week, and we brought friends!
It was Brittany’s pick this week, and she took us in a real weird direction by choosing the 1996 kid’s fantasy-adventure, Forest Warrior… Starring the one and only, Chuck Norris. And in a rare Second Class Cinema occurence, we had not one, but TWO guests on to discuss this week’s movie. So, welcome our pals Aaron and Tyler back to the show!
Forest Warrior follows a ragtag group of kids who go on a camping trip, only to discover that a greedy lumber tycoon is seeking to illegally deforest their beloved mountain. In a desperate bid to save it, they team up with a mythical, shape-shifting, mountain man (played by Chuck Norris) to take down Thorne by any means possible… Like hijacking their walkie-talkies, hijinx with fishing poles, and calling upon their animal friends for help. Can they defeat Thorne and save the mountain before it’s too late? They can if Chuck Norris’ mullet has anything to say about it!
Listen up as we discuss clapping bears, Chuck Norris breastfeeding a raccoon, and the power of rock & roll!
We’re officially off that hellish ride through space, and onto bigger and better things. It was Brittany’s turn to pick the flick this week, and feeling as though we deserved to treat ourselves, she selected 2014’s Housebound- a thriller/comedy straight out of New Zealand. Having heard nothing but great things about this movie, it felt a little indulgent… But hey, treat yo’self, amiright?
Housebound follows Kylie, a young delinquent who is sentenced to house arrest under her mother’s care after being arrested for breaking into an ATM. While stuck with her mother and stepfather, Kylie learns some disturbing things about their family home. Like how a teenage girl was murdered there decades ago… Back when their house was used as a mental institution. NBD. As Kylie becomes obsessed with solving the murder, things around the house just get weirder and weirder. Can she solve it before her and her mother become the killer’s next victims?
In Space Month is FINALLY here on Second Class Cinema! But you all should have heard this in our April 1st episode. Sorry about that.
We kick it off with Brittany’s pick, Leprechaun 4: In Space! The rules of In Space Month are easy, we have to pick a movie that takes it franchise in to outer space. We were surprised to find out how little this actually happened but it happened enough for us to notice, so that’s a problem.
Special Guest Taryn came on to discuss this movie with us.
It was Brittany’s pick this week so we watched the movie a Drafthouse Films release, The Visitor from 1979! This sci-fi, Cronenbergesque movie left us wondering a lot of things. About whether or not it was us or the movie that was incomprehensible. That ever happen to anyone? Well it happened to us tonight!