Episode 69: Never Too Young To Die (1986)

Hello friends!

This week on SCC we are celebrating the birthday of our very own Erik. What a joy.

And what better way to celebrate a birthday, than to watch a movie in which Gene Simmons stars as a hermaphroditic, lounge-singing super villain! It was Erik’s pick this week, and he picked the 1986 action flick, Never Too Young To Die, starring John Stamos, Gene Simmons, and Vanity (RIP, as of today, oddly enough).
This flick follows Lance Stargrove as he transitions from meek college gymnast, to full-blown action hero in just over 90 minutes. Lance’s father is killed while on a super secret mission to stop the ruthless Ragnar from poisoning the cities water supply, leaving Lance no choice but to complete the mission. With the help of fellow agent, Danja – and the occasional wacky gagdet from his college friend, Cliff- Lance sets off to stop Ragnar once and for all.

This movie is a veritable trove of so many things you never knew you needed. John Stamos cocking a shotgun? Check. Gene Simmons gyrating in a bustier? Check. Defective rocket-launchers, Gene and John on the verge of making out, sexually repressed fruit-eating? Check, check, check! Listen up!

Listen Up!

Love a good title card
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Episode 68: INhuMANity (2001)

This week on SCC we dip our toes into the seedy, straight-to-video world that is York Entertainment.

It was Tom’s pick, and so the blame lies solely with him that this week we watched the 2001 crime-drama (?) INhuMANity. Another movie we unearthed at the flea market… so you can probably guess how well it went.

This movie follows two obnoxious detectives (played by Todd Bridges and Faison Love), as they harrass assault victims, perform B&Es and try to solve a string of rapes and murders… Kind of…
Switching between multiple plotlines with insane ineptitude, figuring this flick out was difficult- to say the least. Listen up as we discuss the jarring camera work, non-existent character development, and the horrible omen of lightning striking a babies crib. Enjoy!

Listen up!

Random ninja sightings usually HELP a movie
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Episode 67: The Final Girls (2015)


Ahoy, Citizens!

It was Brit’s turn to pick the flick this week, so of course we ended up watching a horror-comedy… Only this time, it was a film from 2015, and not the late 80’s. Baby steps. Taryn joined us once again this week to view and discuss the 2015 meta/slasher/comedy, The Final Girls.

3 years after her mother’s untimely death, Max Cartright agrees to attend a screening of her mom’s most famous movie- the 80’s slasher flick, Camp Bloodbath. After a series of unlikely events, Max and a group of friends find themselves IN the movie. They have to learn the rules of the film, save Max’s mom, and live til morning if they want to escape Camp Bloodbath. But who will be the Final Girl?

Tom put it best when he described this film as “an a-movie disguised as a b-movie”. In this episode we discuss paying homage to horror classics, the mother-daughter relationship at the heart of the film, and the insanely enjoyable casting choices.

Listen up!

Special Guest: Taryn
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Love this title card for Camp Bloodbath
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Episode 66: Deadliest Prey (2013)


At SCC this week, we finally got to watch a film we have been eager to see for a while… It was Erik’s pick, and he chose 2013’s Deadliest Prey- the follow-up to 1987’s cult-classic action flick, Deadly Prey.

In the original film, we follow Mike Danton- Vietnam vet, and all-around American badass- as he’s kidnapped and forced to be the “prey” for a group of ruthless mercenaries in training, led by madman Colonel Hogan. To make a totally awesome long story short: they kill Danton’s wife, he destroys them all, Hogan goes to prison, the end.
Or is it?

This movie picks up 25 years later, as Hogan is about to be released from prison. Suffice to say, he has not been reformed. In fact, he’s spent the last 25 years plotting the ultimate revenge on Danton- kidnapping him, and once again plunging him into a deadly hunting game… Because apparently Hogan didn’t learn his lesson the first time? Will Mike outsmart his hunters once again, and be able to save his family this time? Will he wear cutoff denim shorts to show off the fact that he totally never skips leg day? WILL THE MADNESS NEVER END?!
Join us on this episode as we discuss modernizing cult-classics, diaper-wearing bimbos, and whether or not we will see a third Deadly Prey film.

Listen up!

DEADLIEST PREY!
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Episode 65: Guns (1990)


This week we had the pleasure of viewing one of Tom’s picks here at SCC, and that pick was the 1990 Andy Sedaris action flick, Guns. We’ve watched a few Sedaris movies before this, and though they all contain the 3 B’s (boobs, babes and beaches, duh.), this was the best one we’ve seen thus far.

When a ruthless gun-runner, Juan Degas, puts a hit out on a member of a secret government agency, all hell breaks loose. Degas stages a murder in Las Vegas to keep the agents busy while he traffics shipments of guns through Hawaii. Will the Agency (yup, that’s what it’s called) be able to save all their hostages and stop them before the deal is done?

This movie is a real doozy. It took us a bit to get a grip on what exactly was happening, and who was doing what in this… but once you get there, it’s a fun time. We discuss the mechanics of sex on motorcycles, soft corn flicks, and why teased 80’s hair is so orgasmic. Listen up, gentlefolk!

Listen up!

Sign me up for this gym
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Episode 64: Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)


Good morning, Citizens!

It was Brittany’s turn to pick the flick this week, and I’m sure you will all be very shocked to hear that she picked yet another horror comedy. Taryn joined us once again, and we watched 1988’s Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, and it sure was a movie.

After getting caught sneaking into a sorority house to watch the initiation ceremony, a group of geeks are forced to escort the sorority pledges on the last mission of their initiation- sneak into the local mall/bowling alley, steal a bowling trophy, and bring it back to their senior sorority sisters. Along the way they encounter a punk chick named Spider (who is also robbing the Bowl-o-Rama), a ghoulish little clay-mation imp, and lot of other things that really don’t matter or make sense in the least.

Listen up as we discuss uncomfortably lengthy and awkward sex scenes, jokes with no punchlines, and Linnea Quigley as the one enjoyable aspect of this film. Enjoy!

Listen Up

Special Guest: Taryn
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Annoying Imp
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Episode 63: Dangerous Men (2005)


Happy New Year!

It was a great year here at Second Class Cinema. We’ve watched a lot of movies- some great, some not so much- had a ton of great guests on, and more importantly- we have had a blast doing it. Our podbean reached 10,000 plays this week, and it means a lot to us that anyone at all enjoys listening to us be morons. So, thanks for that!
For our first episode of the new year, we were joined by our friend Aaron in viewing the newest Drafthouse flick, Dangerous Men.

After being kidnapped by her fiance’s murderer- and her would-be rapist- Mina exacts revenge and goes on a killing spree to rid LA of all of it’s scummy and dangerous men. Unfortunately for her, a detective- who also happens to be her fiance’s brother- is hot on her heels as he attempts to solve the string of murders and destroy the biker gang responsible for his brothers death.

The synopsis above is much, much more succinct than the actual film itself.

In this episode we discuss the motivations of the characters, why everyone loves rape so much, and buttcrack weaponry. If by the end of this episode you still have no idea what this movie is about, then you will have understood perfectly.

Listen up!

Special Guest: Aaron
AaronNo

Don’t know where to hide your next murder weapon? Try your pooper.
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Episode 62: Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance (2015)


Ahoy, Citizens!

This week on SCC, we had our BFF Tyler on, yet again, to help us dissect our newest Second Class flick. And it should come as no surprise, that as a group, we decided to watch the highly anticipated (for us, anyway), Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance!

This movie picks up right where Samurai Cop ends, but then launches us 25 years into the present day where there is a deadly turf war going on between two Samurai gangs, because obviously. Unable to solve a string of recent killings, Frank Washington sets out to find his old partner, Joe Marshall (the Samurai Cop), in hopes that Joe can help him solve the crimes. Throw in some bizarrely futuristic settings, inexplicable music selections, and Tommy Wiseau, and apparently you’ve got a movie.

If you are a fan of the original Samurai Cop, you’re going to want to give this episode a listen. Tyler joined us for his first viewing of Samurai Cop earlier that day, so we were all brushed up and ready to compare. We discuss the storyline of this film, why every actress they hired looks exactly the same, and why CGI blood and bruises were necessary.

You can rent in on Vimeo here! Is it worth the $8.99? Find out and listen!

Also, listen to our previous episode on the the original Samurai Cop!

Listen up

Special guest: Tyler
TylerRules

Frank Washington. The Best of the best.
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The B-Movie Experience