Neil Breen has a new movie out and you bet your sweet ass we went to see it.
Having recovered from The Neil Breen Spectacular (in which we watched all 3 of Neil’s movies – in one sitting- and then discussed), we decided to pack our bags and take a Second Class field trip to the sold-out show at the Somerville Theatre. We were joined, once again, by the only person we know who can tolerate as much Breen as we can- our BFF Aaron.
PASS THRU follows artificial intelligence from the future (played, obviously, by Neil himself), who has come to earth to eradicate all the evil corporate and media scum who are waging wars and destroying our planet. Breenie kills about 3 million people in the blink of an eye- going on a rampage of mass murder, all the while touting his very infantile grasp of quantum physics and odd anti-immigration rhetoric. There is a subplot involving child astronomers… but it has literally zero to do with the rest of the film. Also, there’s a tiger.
How has Neil progressed as a filmmaker? Is this his best movie to date? Will his unfounded God-complex ever be explained? We try to answer all these questions and more in this episode. Our standard structure fell by the wayside a bit on this one- so apologies in advance. Listen up!
This week on SCC, we welcomed our friend, Gray, back to the show… And we even let him pick the flick!
Last time Gray was here, he and Tom bonded over a bizarrely traumatizing scene from a movie they had both seen as children. In the scene, a woman is in labor and gives birth to a weird, squishy egg- which is promptly stepped on, causing a gooey, slimy explosion. That movie was 1990’s Meet the Applegates. And you can bet your bottom dollar that that is what we watched this week.
The Applegates, are, statistically, the most average family in America. Dick (the father) is a normal, hard-working man, Jane (the mother) is a sweet homemaker-type, Sally (their daughter) is pretty and modest, and their son, Johnny, is the quintessential A-student (barring his weirdly forced love of heavy metal). But the Applegates have a secret… A dangerous secret. Are they what they appear to be? Or are they giant, humanoid insects from the Brazilian rainforest, trying to assimilate into American culture in order to carry out a sinister agenda?
We’re pretty sure we had more fun discussing this movie than we had watching it, but we’ll take whatever we can get. This dredged up a lot of topics for us, including: films that scarred us for life, the lack of sexual consent in the 80’s and the religious implications of breaking a pinky-promise.
For this week’s episode we were joined by our friend and first time guest, Christopher Brown. Christopher also picked the flick this week, and he graced us with the 1986 BMX movie, Rad.
Rad follows high school student, Christopher “Cru” Jones, in his quest to qualify for a major BMX race- Helltrack- which just happens to be taking place in the small town in which he lives. The only problem is that the race takes place the same day as the SATs, and Cru’s mom has strictly forbidden him from competing. However, this proves to be the least of his problems when he learns that Duke Best (owner of Mongoose), is throwing any and every rule at him to keep him from racing. Can the town band together and help Cru overcome this barrage of new obstacles, so he can triumph at Helltrack at last?
The title of this film pretty much describes exactly how we felt about it. This movie gave us a plethora of topics to discuss including (but not limited to) trick-riding as foreplay, ass-sliding, and the beta prep-course for T-1000 training.
We’re back at it again this week, and we brought friends!
It was Brittany’s pick this week, and she took us in a real weird direction by choosing the 1996 kid’s fantasy-adventure, Forest Warrior… Starring the one and only, Chuck Norris. And in a rare Second Class Cinema occurence, we had not one, but TWO guests on to discuss this week’s movie. So, welcome our pals Aaron and Tyler back to the show!
Forest Warrior follows a ragtag group of kids who go on a camping trip, only to discover that a greedy lumber tycoon is seeking to illegally deforest their beloved mountain. In a desperate bid to save it, they team up with a mythical, shape-shifting, mountain man (played by Chuck Norris) to take down Thorne by any means possible… Like hijacking their walkie-talkies, hijinx with fishing poles, and calling upon their animal friends for help. Can they defeat Thorne and save the mountain before it’s too late? They can if Chuck Norris’ mullet has anything to say about it!
Listen up as we discuss clapping bears, Chuck Norris breastfeeding a raccoon, and the power of rock & roll!
We’re back this week with Erik’s pick, 1974’s Blaxploitation/thriller, Three the Hard Way. We aren’t super experienced in the genre, so we figured we’d dive in and see if it tickled our fancy. Results: Some fancies were definitely tickled.
Three the Hard Way follows three friends- Jimmy, Jagger, and Mister Keyes -as they try to foil mass-genocide plotted out by a secret society of white supremacists.
After escaping from a secret compound -in which he was subjected to torturous experiments- Jim’s friend, House, struggles to make his way to safety and alert the world to the atrocities happening there. House tells Jim about the compound, it’s leader (the evil Monroe Feather), and their diabolical plan to wipe out millions of the world’s population, using biological warfare specially designed to target people of color. With the help of his friends Jagger and Mister Keyes, Jim plans to infiltrate the compound and stop the neo-nazis once and for all.
Karate, leather suits, and honkies getting thrown out of moving vehicles… This flick gave us a bunch of stuff to be happy about. BUT, who would we be without a few minor complaints?
It was Tom’s pick this week and he is back to his old ways. Plucked directly from the vast DVD library of garbage popped out our pick, the 1999 made for TV action movie Shadow Warriors starring Terry “Hulk” Hogan and Carl Weathers. Or at least that’s what we thought. We invited our good friend Tyler to join us to discuss another movie featuring the Hulkster.
After a bit of research, despite all of the evidence saying otherwise, it was determined that we ACTUALLY viewed Shadow Warriors II: Assault on Death Mountain. Hulk plays the tormented Mike McBride, an ex-military veteran whose skills mesh well with his teammates Roy (Carl Weathers), Hunter (Shannon Tweed) and Derek (Some fella). These Shadow Warriors are sent on a freelance rescue mission to save a young girl from her vindictive father and his team of Austrian thugs.
After the rescue (kidnapping?) mission is over, McBride’s PTSD flashbacks from his military days kick in and he recognizes an enemy from his past who may have come back to haunt him.
Listen up as we discuss goon game, Hulk’s acting chops and busted up kneecaps, Carl Weathers’ bicep and why showing up at terrorist camp in the middle of Saudi Arabia, no matter how hilarious, is usually not a good idea!
Our flick this week was a recommendation from our friends over at Bad Movie Sunday (which Bristol Bad Film Club was kind enough to give us access to), and we cannot thank them enough for it. We were joined by our friend (and first-time guest), Gray, as we viewed and discussed the masterpiece that is Road to Revenge (1993) aka GETEVEN aka Karate Cowboy aka Satanic Panic. Just kidding about those last two… Or are we?
Road to Revenge follows disgraced former police officer (and current limo driver), Rick Bode, as he attempts to take down a Satanic cult- which happens to be headed by his former partner, Normad. Aided by his girlfriend, Cindy (a former cult member), his perpetually drunk best friend, Huck, and a Native American mannequin, Rick sets off to get even.
Armed with nothing more than some leather pants and a song, John De Hart mystifyingly manages to make this vanity project completely entertaining (and bizarrely endearing).
Listen up as we discuss the Shimmy Slide, black-belt poodles, and uncomfortable sex scenes involving ice cubes!
We’re officially off that hellish ride through space, and onto bigger and better things. It was Brittany’s turn to pick the flick this week, and feeling as though we deserved to treat ourselves, she selected 2014’s Housebound- a thriller/comedy straight out of New Zealand. Having heard nothing but great things about this movie, it felt a little indulgent… But hey, treat yo’self, amiright?
Housebound follows Kylie, a young delinquent who is sentenced to house arrest under her mother’s care after being arrested for breaking into an ATM. While stuck with her mother and stepfather, Kylie learns some disturbing things about their family home. Like how a teenage girl was murdered there decades ago… Back when their house was used as a mental institution. NBD. As Kylie becomes obsessed with solving the murder, things around the house just get weirder and weirder. Can she solve it before her and her mother become the killer’s next victims?