We were joined this week by our good friend (and local comic), Rob Pierce! He graced us- not only with his presence- but with a truly enjoyable second-class gem: Welcome to Planet Earth.
Our story begins with Joseph! Having just inherited his deceased mother’s boarding house in a dangerous urban neighborhood, he’s short on cash and desperate to find some tenants as soon as possible. Lucky for him, that very evening Charlie, Rhonda and their daughter Daphne show up on his doorstep- looking like they just stepped out of a Normal Rockwell painting, and needing a place to rent. At first it seems too good to be true, rich white folks with money to burn, who are all too pleased that Joseph wants to bang their daughter. But are they what they seem? Or are they aliens vacationing on Earth, here to take in all the sights and vigilante justice the inner-city has to offer? Only time will tell!
Welcome to Planet Earth stars George Wendt and Shanna Reed, and is truly a bizarre and unique film. We discuss this movie’s oddly adept social commentary and clever dialogue, the sexiness of violent women, and why Joseph’s mom loves singing in the graveyard.
This week we were joined by a first-time guest- our friend and professional funny-lady, Liz Moniz. We even let her pick the flick! Liz had told us about this really strange movie she had watched with her Dad when she was a kid, a movie about a possessed refrigerator that eats people… So naturally we wanted to watch this ASAP. It took two years, but we done did it!
This movie follows a couple, Eileen and Steve, who have just relocated to NYC from Ohio, presumably in pursuit of Eileen’s dream of becoming a Broadway star. The two get a deal on a shabby apartment and quickly set about turning it into a home. Soon thereafter, the couple is visited by a seemingly crazy neighbor who warns them about previous tenants disappearing and other strange goings-on in the apartment. It’s not long before Eileen and Steve are plagued by nightmares and visions involving the refrigerator, and soon people they know begin disappearing as well. Who can quell the refrigerators demonic hunger?!
We cover a plethora of relevant topics in this week’s discussion- including gourmet cheeses, mother/daughter sexual tension, the lack of gore, and the least believable thing about this movie: $200 a month rent.
Neil Breen has a new movie out and you bet your sweet ass we went to see it.
Having recovered from The Neil Breen Spectacular (in which we watched all 3 of Neil’s movies – in one sitting- and then discussed), we decided to pack our bags and take a Second Class field trip to the sold-out show at the Somerville Theatre. We were joined, once again, by the only person we know who can tolerate as much Breen as we can- our BFF Aaron.
PASS THRU follows artificial intelligence from the future (played, obviously, by Neil himself), who has come to earth to eradicate all the evil corporate and media scum who are waging wars and destroying our planet. Breenie kills about 3 million people in the blink of an eye- going on a rampage of mass murder, all the while touting his very infantile grasp of quantum physics and odd anti-immigration rhetoric. There is a subplot involving child astronomers… but it has literally zero to do with the rest of the film. Also, there’s a tiger.
How has Neil progressed as a filmmaker? Is this his best movie to date? Will his unfounded God-complex ever be explained? We try to answer all these questions and more in this episode. Our standard structure fell by the wayside a bit on this one- so apologies in advance. Listen up!
This week on SCC, we welcomed our friend, Gray, back to the show… And we even let him pick the flick!
Last time Gray was here, he and Tom bonded over a bizarrely traumatizing scene from a movie they had both seen as children. In the scene, a woman is in labor and gives birth to a weird, squishy egg- which is promptly stepped on, causing a gooey, slimy explosion. That movie was 1990’s Meet the Applegates. And you can bet your bottom dollar that that is what we watched this week.
The Applegates, are, statistically, the most average family in America. Dick (the father) is a normal, hard-working man, Jane (the mother) is a sweet homemaker-type, Sally (their daughter) is pretty and modest, and their son, Johnny, is the quintessential A-student (barring his weirdly forced love of heavy metal). But the Applegates have a secret… A dangerous secret. Are they what they appear to be? Or are they giant, humanoid insects from the Brazilian rainforest, trying to assimilate into American culture in order to carry out a sinister agenda?
We’re pretty sure we had more fun discussing this movie than we had watching it, but we’ll take whatever we can get. This dredged up a lot of topics for us, including: films that scarred us for life, the lack of sexual consent in the 80’s and the religious implications of breaking a pinky-promise.
This month, we’ve been to space with the Leprechaun, James Bond and Pinhead… So of course we could not say farewell to “In Space” Month without covering 2001’s, Jason X.
A cryogenically frozen Jason Voorhees is discovered in the year 2455 and taken aboard a spacecraft where he is accidentally unfrozen, thereafter wreaking bloody havoc on the passengers until only a few remain. After Hell and Manhattan, the only logical place for him to go was space. This movie introduces us to Über Jason. Take it as you will. But there’s boobs, there’s weird dominatrix robots, there’s Jason… Careening through space.
This movie split the room a bit. How does this movie measure up to the other franchises that brought their films to outer space? How do we feel about this whole space-month thing? How fast can liquid nitrogen turn your face into a snowcone?
Welcome to a special Saturday edition of Second Class Cinema!
This whole “In Space Month” this is a little harder than initially anticipated. That being said this week we watched Hellraiser IV: Bloodline. Even with Adam Scott having a role in this movie and the prospect of Pinhead being shot with orange lasers couldn’t truly salvage the movie. Our friend and b-movie professional Fallon was kind enough to come on and watch this one with us and then we blamed her for it because we’re all good buddies here. This one prompted an interesting but unanimous rating.
We’re settling into Space Month nicely here at Second Class Cinema. For the entire month of April we’ll be exploring different film series’ that (bafflingly) decided to take their franchise into outer space. We kicked it off last week with Leprechaun 4: In Space- which, despite it’s fantastically boring title, we somehow expected to be better.
A few months ago, when we watched our first James Bond movie (Never Say Never Again (right click and save)) our good friend, Tyler, joined us. So it was only fitting that he join us again for this week’s viewing of the 1979 Bond flick, Moonraker.
Moonraker follows James Bond on his mostly boring and confusing mission of uncovering what happened to a missing US space shuttle. All evidence leads to Drax Industries, and we follow Bond from Italy, to Rio, to… Somewhere else in Brazil, to OUTER SPACE. Turns out, Hugo Drax wants to poison everyone on Earth and then repopulate it with his own creepy super-race that he’s developing on his stolen space shuttle. He’s like Jim Jones, but with zero charisma and the face of Peter Dinklage and Oliver Platt’s love-child. Try to unsee that, I dare you. CAN BOND STOP HIM IN TIME?! The answer will not surprise you.
As always, the room was split between Bond fans, Erik and Tyler, and Bond newbies, Tom and Brittany- but the rating on this one was unanimous. Listen up as we discuss the hierarchy of Bonds, Roger Moore and his starring mole, and Holly Goodhead’s non-existent emotional range.
In Space Month is FINALLY here on Second Class Cinema! But you all should have heard this in our April 1st episode. Sorry about that.
We kick it off with Brittany’s pick, Leprechaun 4: In Space! The rules of In Space Month are easy, we have to pick a movie that takes it franchise in to outer space. We were surprised to find out how little this actually happened but it happened enough for us to notice, so that’s a problem.
Special Guest Taryn came on to discuss this movie with us.