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Episode 82: Shadow Warriors 2 (1999)

It was Tom’s pick this week and he is back to his old ways. Plucked directly from the vast DVD library of garbage popped out our pick, the 1999 made for TV action movie Shadow Warriors starring Terry “Hulk” Hogan and Carl Weathers. Or at least that’s what we thought. We invited our good friend Tyler to join us to discuss another movie featuring the Hulkster.

After a bit of research, despite all of the evidence saying otherwise, it was determined that we ACTUALLY viewed Shadow Warriors II: Assault on Death Mountain. Hulk plays the tormented Mike McBride, an ex-military veteran whose skills mesh well with his teammates Roy (Carl Weathers), Hunter (Shannon Tweed) and Derek (Some fella). These Shadow Warriors are sent on a freelance rescue mission to save a young girl from her vindictive father and his team of Austrian thugs.

After the rescue (kidnapping?) mission is over, McBride’s PTSD flashbacks from his military days kick in and he recognizes an enemy from his past who may have come back to haunt him.

Listen up as we discuss goon game, Hulk’s acting chops and busted up kneecaps, Carl Weathers’ bicep and why showing up at terrorist camp in the middle of Saudi Arabia, no matter how hilarious, is usually not a good idea!

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Special guest: Tyler
TylerRules

Episode 80: Housebound (2014)

Hellooooo Citizens!

We’re officially off that hellish ride through space, and onto bigger and better things. It was Brittany’s turn to pick the flick this week, and feeling as though we deserved to treat ourselves, she selected 2014’s Housebound- a thriller/comedy straight out of New Zealand. Having heard nothing but great things about this movie, it felt a little indulgent… But hey, treat yo’self, amiright?

Housebound follows Kylie, a young delinquent who is sentenced to house arrest under her mother’s care after being arrested for breaking into an ATM. While stuck with her mother and stepfather, Kylie learns some disturbing things about their family home. Like how a teenage girl was murdered there decades ago… Back when their house was used as a mental institution. NBD. As Kylie becomes obsessed with solving the murder, things around the house just get weirder and weirder. Can she solve it before her and her mother become the killer’s next victims?

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Episode 79: Jason X (2001)

This month, we’ve been to space with the Leprechaun, James Bond and Pinhead… So of course we could not say farewell to “In Space” Month without covering 2001’s, Jason X.

A cryogenically frozen Jason Voorhees is discovered in the year 2455 and taken aboard a spacecraft where he is accidentally unfrozen, thereafter wreaking bloody havoc on the passengers until only a few remain. After Hell and Manhattan, the only logical place for him to go was space. This movie introduces us to Über Jason. Take it as you will. But there’s boobs, there’s weird dominatrix robots, there’s Jason… Careening through space.

This movie split the room a bit. How does this movie measure up to the other franchises that brought their films to outer space? How do we feel about this whole space-month thing? How fast can liquid nitrogen turn your face into a snowcone?

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Episode 78: Hellraiser IV: Bloodline (1996)

Welcome to a special Saturday edition of Second Class Cinema!

This whole “In Space Month” this is a little harder than initially anticipated. That being said this week we watched Hellraiser IV: Bloodline. Even with Adam Scott having a role in this movie and the prospect of Pinhead being shot with orange lasers couldn’t truly salvage the movie. Our friend and b-movie professional Fallon was kind enough to come on and watch this one with us and then we blamed her for it because we’re all good buddies here. This one prompted an interesting but unanimous rating.

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Special Guest: Fallon

Taffy Twins
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Episode 77: Moonraker (1979)

Ahoy!

We’re settling into Space Month nicely here at Second Class Cinema. For the entire month of April we’ll be exploring different film series’ that (bafflingly) decided to take their franchise into outer space. We kicked it off last week with Leprechaun 4: In Space- which, despite it’s fantastically boring title, we somehow expected to be better.

A few months ago, when we watched our first James Bond movie (Never Say Never Again (right click and save)) our good friend, Tyler, joined us. So it was only fitting that he join us again for this week’s viewing of the 1979 Bond flick, Moonraker.

Moonraker follows James Bond on his mostly boring and confusing mission of uncovering what happened to a missing US space shuttle. All evidence leads to Drax Industries, and we follow Bond from Italy, to Rio, to… Somewhere else in Brazil, to OUTER SPACE. Turns out, Hugo Drax wants to poison everyone on Earth and then repopulate it with his own creepy super-race that he’s developing on his stolen space shuttle. He’s like Jim Jones, but with zero charisma and the face of Peter Dinklage and Oliver Platt’s love-child. Try to unsee that, I dare you. CAN BOND STOP HIM IN TIME?! The answer will not surprise you.

As always, the room was split between Bond fans, Erik and Tyler, and Bond newbies, Tom and Brittany- but the rating on this one was unanimous. Listen up as we discuss the hierarchy of Bonds, Roger Moore and his starring mole, and Holly Goodhead’s non-existent emotional range.

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Special guest: Tyler
TylerRules

YOU’RE A LIAR!
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Episode 76: Leprechaun 4: In Space (1997)

In Space Month is FINALLY here on Second Class Cinema! But you all should have heard this in our April 1st episode. Sorry about that.

We kick it off with Brittany’s pick, Leprechaun 4: In Space! The rules of In Space Month are easy, we have to pick a movie that takes it franchise in to outer space. We were surprised to find out how little this actually happened but it happened enough for us to notice, so that’s a problem.

Special Guest Taryn came on to discuss this movie with us.

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Special Guest: Taryn
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Master Yoda! Please, show me the ways of the fo… oh wait…
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Episode 75: The Room Spectacular part 1 of 5

The time has finally come for us to dive in to the cult classic The Room! This episode is the intro to a 5 part series we’ll have discussing Tommy’s masterpiece. There’s too much to talk about it in one episode so we had to spread this out through the whole month of April. Enjoy our introduction and stay tuned for next week!

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