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Episode 101: Welcome to Planet Earth (1996)

WELCOME TA EARF!

We were joined this week by our good friend (and local comic), Rob Pierce! He graced us- not only with his presence- but with a truly enjoyable second-class gem: Welcome to Planet Earth.

Our story begins with Joseph! Having just inherited his deceased mother’s boarding house in a dangerous urban neighborhood, he’s short on cash and desperate to find some tenants as soon as possible. Lucky for him, that very evening Charlie, Rhonda and their daughter Daphne show up on his doorstep- looking like they just stepped out of a Normal Rockwell painting, and needing a place to rent. At first it seems too good to be true, rich white folks with money to burn, who are all too pleased that Joseph wants to bang their daughter. But are they what they seem? Or are they aliens vacationing on Earth, here to take in all the sights and vigilante justice the inner-city has to offer? Only time will tell!

Welcome to Planet Earth stars George Wendt and Shanna Reed, and is truly a bizarre and unique film. We discuss this movie’s oddly adept social commentary and clever dialogue, the sexiness of violent women, and why Joseph’s mom loves singing in the graveyard.

Special Guest: Rob Pierce

Listen up!

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Episode 100: Horror House on Highway Five (1985)

Hot damn y’all, it’s our 100th Episode!

Thanks to all of you who have somehow stumbled upon us and continue to listen to our ridiculous banter. We’re so happy other people love these misfit films and want to celebrate them the same way we do- in a mockingly critical and often obnoxious manner. Especially when we’ve dropped off the earth for a while due to life, and you all still hit us up with new film recommendations and discussions on older episodes. We know we’ve been gone for a while, thanks for not making it weird. Also, thanks to all our friends, on this episode and every other, who are always down to watch bad movies and share their love and knowledge of trash cinema with us. We love you all.

For this super special occasion, we were joined by not one, not, two, not, three, but FOUR friends from previous episodes who came over to watch this flick with us… and for the first time ever we recorded a commentary during the movie (download the commentary here)! Tyler, Fallon, Gray and Aaron all came by to watch the newly restored Horror House on Highway Five, which we recently purchased from Vinegar Sydrome (you can purchase it here if you want to watch along with the commentary, or just in general: https://vinegarsyndrome.com/shop/horror-house-on-highway-5/ ). It was interesting, to say the least.

The synopsis of this film would tell you that it’s about a crazed psychopath who stalks the streets, wearing a Richard Nixon mask, murdering helpless victims… but is it really? We had a lot of fun trying to break down the various threads of story in this film, which weren’t always coherent… But hey, this is the second movie we watched recently that’s featured random Nazi -occult subplots! Also, ferns!

Enjoy!

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Email us at secondclasscinema@gmail.com


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Last chance to download the commentary track

Episode 97: Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989)

APOLOGIES, for our lengthy and unannounced absence, Citizens!
The last month has been a doozy and we had to take an unplanned break due to purchasing real-estate, sickness, ailments, Pokemon cards… the works. But we’re finally back this week with a fucking weird movie, which, of course, Jim joined us to watch.

This week Erik picked the 1989 cyber-punk, body-horror insanity that is Tetsuo: The Iron Man. Apparently this film is about a metal fetishist who is hit by a car and left for dead by the main character- known only as “Man”. The fetishist then seeks revenge by slowly causing the “Man” to grow random parts and appendages made of metal… Slowly turning him INTO metal.

Listen up as we try to discuss this truly bizarre film… We try to mask our confusion by struggling to discuss the plot, and having a grunting contest.

Listen up!

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Episode 92: One Man Force (1989)

If there’s anything we love more than a buddy-cop flick, it’s a movie where one partner dies, triggering the other’s epic quest for revenge. Which is precisely why Tom picked 1989’s One Man Force- starring ex-football star, John Matuszak. Also, fresh off being banned from the show for many, many months after making us watch Holy Mountain, our pal Jim is back to discuss this with us.

After a gang of drug-dealers murders his partner, LA cop Jake Swan goes rogue in his bloody quest for revenge. After being kicked off the force, Jake becomes a private investigator and methodically tracks down every slimeball that had a hand in his partners death. Jake slowly works his way up the ranks, culminating in the ultimate showdown, and proving you can trust no one!

Join us as we dissect this movie- we discuss the film’s plentiful but weak goon-game, it’s vague storytelling method, and we have an inordinately long, nonsensical debate about chain restaurants. Enjoy!


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Episode 91: Uninvited (1988)

Hello again, Citizens!
We’re back at it this week with a recommendation from our friend and fellow podcaster, Dave Bullis (@Dave_Bullis), and Dave recommended that we indulge in 1988’s Uninvited.. So that’s exactly what we did!

Uninvited follows a group of brain-dead college kids that offer to crew the yacht of a corrupt business man, in exchange for tagging along on a trip to the Cayman Islands. Little do they know that his business on the island is not exactly on the up-and-up… Nor do they know that the cute cat they brought aboard with them is an escaped genetic experiment, waiting to wreak havoc on them all!

If that sounds like a weirdly convoluted plot, then congratulations, you’re right up to speed! Listen up as we discuss demon cat-rats, disappointing makeup effects, and whether or not beastiality is consentual. Enjoy!


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Episode 89: Ninja 3: The Domination (1984)

Hello again!

We’re back at it this week with a pick from Erik, and he selected 1984’s Ninja 3: The Domination. Also, in bizarre, experimental fun, we had our good friend, Victor, join us for the flick this week… and it was his very first B movie experience ever! We had fun destroying his innocence, and discussing this crazy-ass movie.

Ninja 3 follows a young woman named Chris, who is possessed by the spirit of an vengeful ninja, after a fateful encounter right before his death. The Black Ninja uses Chris as a vessel to seek vengeance on the police force that rightfully took his life- nearly destroying hers in the process. Her only hope seems to lie in the hands of the mysterious Yamada (played by Sho Kosugi), who shows up seeking to avenge the death of his master, and the loss of his left eye- both of which the Black Ninja took from him many years ago. Can Yamada exorcize the evil within her and defeat the Black Ninja once and for all?

This movie is a hilarious display of 80’s stereotypes, and we had a great time dissecting them. Also, Victor talks about his first B movie experience, we discuss how to get a date in the 80’s, and whether or not V8 is an aphrodesiac.

We also want to apologize to Bad Movie Sunday, who was planning on covering this flick next. Sorry to steal your thunder! But seriously, WE BLAME ERIK!

Listen up!

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Bonus Episode 5: B-Movie Storytime plus an interview w/ Griff Furst!

Ahoy, Citizens!
Unfortunately, we did not watch a film this week here at SCC, but we did do something that we should’ve done a long time ago…

If you’ve been a listener for any length of time, you probably know that we always ask every one of our first-time guests the same question:
“What is your relationship with B movies?”
We’ve asked dozens of people this question over the past two(ish) years, trying to learn about what ignites and ultimately drives the passion for this type of cinema. But recently we realized that as hosts, we’ve never really answered that question for ourselves. So for the first half of this episode we do exactly that- we all share our earliest B movie memories, discuss what we think makes a flick great, and talk about some of our favorites.

Interview time! Tom recently had the opportunity to speak with actor/director/filmmaker, Griff Furst, about his relationship with B movies, which we will share with you guys in the second half of this episode (somewhere around 30 minutes in, if you wish to skip our self-indulgent blathering). Griff has a pretty impressive resume- from his role in the Cinemax show, Banshee, to the upcoming The Magnificent Seven remake- but what we really wanted to hear about was all the work he’s done in the B movie world. Griff talks with us about his work with The Asylum production company, making mockbuster films, and about his new horror film, Cold Moon. Enjoy!

Griff+Furst+Focus+Premieres+Hollywood+Part+uLu5EWMvHBXl

Episode 88: Killing American Style (1990)

Aaaand we’re back. Flippin’ finally!

As some of you know, it’s been a rough month here at SCC… but after all the roadtrips, mountain-climbing, and hospital stays (not in that order), we are back and ready for action. We missed bad movies, and we missed every gosh damn one of you!
Tom picked the movie this week, and we watched the 1990 action flick, Killing American Style- directed by the one and only Amir Shervan. Tyler stopped by to watch this one with us- making it the third Shervan film we’ve covered on the show, and the second that Tyler has joined us for.

Killing American Style stars Robert Z’Dar as hardened criminal, Tony Stone, who -along with his partner, John Lynch- are on their way to prison for a failed heist. When Stone’s brother is shot in the process of helping them escape, they force their way into a nearby home and wait for help. The only problem is that the house belongs to all-American bad-ass/80s fashion victim, John Morgan. Morgan comes out strong but essentially becomes their errand boy for the entire movie, until finally he gets fed up and decides to unleash some good ol’ fashioned American whoop-ass on everyone! Hurray!

We discuss the obvious parallels between this and Shervan’s other films, including his bizarre perspective on American culture. We also discuss watermelon etiquette, bizarre set “design”, and lack of a solid goon game in this flick. We’re back!


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