We’re settling into Space Month nicely here at Second Class Cinema. For the entire month of April we’ll be exploring different film series’ that (bafflingly) decided to take their franchise into outer space. We kicked it off last week with Leprechaun 4: In Space- which, despite it’s fantastically boring title, we somehow expected to be better.
A few months ago, when we watched our first James Bond movie (Never Say Never Again (right click and save)) our good friend, Tyler, joined us. So it was only fitting that he join us again for this week’s viewing of the 1979 Bond flick, Moonraker.
Moonraker follows James Bond on his mostly boring and confusing mission of uncovering what happened to a missing US space shuttle. All evidence leads to Drax Industries, and we follow Bond from Italy, to Rio, to… Somewhere else in Brazil, to OUTER SPACE. Turns out, Hugo Drax wants to poison everyone on Earth and then repopulate it with his own creepy super-race that he’s developing on his stolen space shuttle. He’s like Jim Jones, but with zero charisma and the face of Peter Dinklage and Oliver Platt’s love-child. Try to unsee that, I dare you. CAN BOND STOP HIM IN TIME?! The answer will not surprise you.
As always, the room was split between Bond fans, Erik and Tyler, and Bond newbies, Tom and Brittany- but the rating on this one was unanimous. Listen up as we discuss the hierarchy of Bonds, Roger Moore and his starring mole, and Holly Goodhead’s non-existent emotional range.
It was Tom’s pick this week and he used a bit of outside influence for his selection. The movie is 1991’s martial art, action, comedy Breathing Fire. Tom was merely a bystander on twitter when the The Bristol Bad Film Club (@TheOtherBBFC) tagged him in an image that Crap Film Clun (@CrapFilmClub) posted. About 5 minutes later Tom was sitting anxiously at his doorstep waiting for his newest eBay purchase to arrive. After it’s arrival, and with little to no expectation of the movie, it was put it on the television and allowed it into the hearts of Second Class Cinema. Tyler came on to watch this movie with us and as he states in this episode, this movie changed his life.
Special guest: Tyler
Can I get a pepperoni pizza but with no sauce or cheese? Oh also can you replace the pepperoni’s with 2 giant keys? That’s fine I’ll pay more.
This week on Second Class Cinema we watched a film recommended to us by the fine folks over at Bad Movie Sunday! We had the pleasure(?) of viewing 1982’s “superhero”/mercenary oddity, Megaforce.
When the peaceful country of Sardun finds itself at odds with their neighboring country of Gamibia, they have no way to defend themselves from an impending invasion- or even war. Enter Megaforce: a secret mercenary company comprised of soldiers from all over the world, headed by Commander Ace Hunter (a flamboyant, gold-spandex-clad Barry Bostwick). Sardun sends one of their military leaders, Major Zara, to request Megaforce’s assistance in crushing their opponent, Gamibia- which just happens to be led by Hunter’s old military pal, Duke Gurerra.
The stakes are… Surprisingly low… as Megaforce uses holographs, spandex, and flying motorcycles to bring Gamibia to heel.
We had some fun watching this one, although, it was difficult to figure out who the target audience for this film was. Listen up as we discuss awesome pyrotechnics, awesomely bad rear-projection scenes, and a grotesquely sappy thumb-kiss that no one should ever be subjected to. Ever.
Thanks to our pals at Bad Movie Sunday for recommending this flick.
So the only place we could find to embed this trailer was the New York Times? Sorry about the ad.
WARNING: This episode was conducted by 4 inebriated individuals who drank tequila playing their favorite game, Garbage Day Jeopardy. If you’d like to know the rules to Garbage Day Jeopardy, please message us so you can understand the state we are in.
On this week’s episode, we allowed Aaron to bring a movie on for us to watch! So he went on eBay and purchased Deathstalker IV: Match of the Titans on VHS for $24.99. And then he brought it over for us to watch. Head the warning and apologies if this is your first listen to us.
This week on SCC we are celebrating the birthday of our very own Erik. What a joy.
And what better way to celebrate a birthday, than to watch a movie in which Gene Simmons stars as a hermaphroditic, lounge-singing super villain! It was Erik’s pick this week, and he picked the 1986 action flick, Never Too Young To Die, starring John Stamos, Gene Simmons, and Vanity (RIP, as of today, oddly enough).
This flick follows Lance Stargrove as he transitions from meek college gymnast, to full-blown action hero in just over 90 minutes. Lance’s father is killed while on a super secret mission to stop the ruthless Ragnar from poisoning the cities water supply, leaving Lance no choice but to complete the mission. With the help of fellow agent, Danja – and the occasional wacky gagdet from his college friend, Cliff- Lance sets off to stop Ragnar once and for all.
This movie is a veritable trove of so many things you never knew you needed. John Stamos cocking a shotgun? Check. Gene Simmons gyrating in a bustier? Check. Defective rocket-launchers, Gene and John on the verge of making out, sexually repressed fruit-eating? Check, check, check! Listen up!
At SCC this week, we finally got to watch a film we have been eager to see for a while… It was Erik’s pick, and he chose 2013’s Deadliest Prey- the follow-up to 1987’s cult-classic action flick, Deadly Prey.
In the original film, we follow Mike Danton- Vietnam vet, and all-around American badass- as he’s kidnapped and forced to be the “prey” for a group of ruthless mercenaries in training, led by madman Colonel Hogan. To make a totally awesome long story short: they kill Danton’s wife, he destroys them all, Hogan goes to prison, the end.
Or is it?
This movie picks up 25 years later, as Hogan is about to be released from prison. Suffice to say, he has not been reformed. In fact, he’s spent the last 25 years plotting the ultimate revenge on Danton- kidnapping him, and once again plunging him into a deadly hunting game… Because apparently Hogan didn’t learn his lesson the first time? Will Mike outsmart his hunters once again, and be able to save his family this time? Will he wear cutoff denim shorts to show off the fact that he totally never skips leg day? WILL THE MADNESS NEVER END?!
Join us on this episode as we discuss modernizing cult-classics, diaper-wearing bimbos, and whether or not we will see a third Deadly Prey film.
This week we had the pleasure of viewing one of Tom’s picks here at SCC, and that pick was the 1990 Andy Sedaris action flick, Guns. We’ve watched a few Sedaris movies before this, and though they all contain the 3 B’s (boobs, babes and beaches, duh.), this was the best one we’ve seen thus far.
When a ruthless gun-runner, Juan Degas, puts a hit out on a member of a secret government agency, all hell breaks loose. Degas stages a murder in Las Vegas to keep the agents busy while he traffics shipments of guns through Hawaii. Will the Agency (yup, that’s what it’s called) be able to save all their hostages and stop them before the deal is done?
This movie is a real doozy. It took us a bit to get a grip on what exactly was happening, and who was doing what in this… but once you get there, it’s a fun time. We discuss the mechanics of sex on motorcycles, soft corn flicks, and why teased 80’s hair is so orgasmic. Listen up, gentlefolk!
It was a great year here at Second Class Cinema. We’ve watched a lot of movies- some great, some not so much- had a ton of great guests on, and more importantly- we have had a blast doing it. Our podbean reached 10,000 plays this week, and it means a lot to us that anyone at all enjoys listening to us be morons. So, thanks for that!
For our first episode of the new year, we were joined by our friend Aaron in viewing the newest Drafthouse flick, Dangerous Men.
After being kidnapped by her fiance’s murderer- and her would-be rapist- Mina exacts revenge and goes on a killing spree to rid LA of all of it’s scummy and dangerous men. Unfortunately for her, a detective- who also happens to be her fiance’s brother- is hot on her heels as he attempts to solve the string of murders and destroy the biker gang responsible for his brothers death.
The synopsis above is much, much more succinct than the actual film itself.
In this episode we discuss the motivations of the characters, why everyone loves rape so much, and buttcrack weaponry. If by the end of this episode you still have no idea what this movie is about, then you will have understood perfectly.
Special Guest: Aaron
Don’t know where to hide your next murder weapon? Try your pooper.