Episode 93: No Retreat No Surrender (1986)

Welcome back!
It was Erik’s turn to pick the flick this week, and he graced us with the 1986 teen karate movie, No Retreat, No Surrender- which (barely) stars Jean-Claude Van Damme in his second credited role. Bad Movie Sunday (@BadMovieSunday1) recommended this to us a while ago, and we are sooo glad we finally got around to it…

When the mob tries to strong-arm Tom into selling his dojo- which they plan to use as a front for their criminal activity- Tom resists and is badly beaten. He quickly decides to close the business, and relocates his family from sunny Los Angeles, all the way to Seattle. Injured and defeated, Tom swears off fighting for good. However, it’s not quite as easy for his son, Jason. Jason makes an enemy on their first day in the new neighborhood, which in turn ignites a rivalry between himself and the local dojo. With nowhere to turn, Jason prays to his idol, Bruce Lee for guidance… After which, the ghost of Bruce Lee promptly appears before him, ready to teach all of his martial arts secrets. CUE DOPE TRAINING MONTAGE!
Will Jason be able to harness the power he needs to get the girl, win over the dojo, and get revenge for his father by defeating the deadly Ivan Kraschinsky? Only one way to find out!

We spend a little time comparing this movie to the likes of Sidekicks, Breathing Fire, etc. We also discuss the sweet martial arts in this movie, how this was originally meant to be a porno flick, and why Jason’s dad is such a little bitch. Listen up!


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Episode 92: One Man Force (1989)

If there’s anything we love more than a buddy-cop flick, it’s a movie where one partner dies, triggering the other’s epic quest for revenge. Which is precisely why Tom picked 1989’s One Man Force- starring ex-football star, John Matuszak. Also, fresh off being banned from the show for many, many months after making us watch Holy Mountain, our pal Jim is back to discuss this with us.

After a gang of drug-dealers murders his partner, LA cop Jake Swan goes rogue in his bloody quest for revenge. After being kicked off the force, Jake becomes a private investigator and methodically tracks down every slimeball that had a hand in his partners death. Jake slowly works his way up the ranks, culminating in the ultimate showdown, and proving you can trust no one!

Join us as we dissect this movie- we discuss the film’s plentiful but weak goon-game, it’s vague storytelling method, and we have an inordinately long, nonsensical debate about chain restaurants. Enjoy!


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Episode 91: Uninvited (1988)

Hello again, Citizens!
We’re back at it this week with a recommendation from our friend and fellow podcaster, Dave Bullis (@Dave_Bullis), and Dave recommended that we indulge in 1988’s Uninvited.. So that’s exactly what we did!

Uninvited follows a group of brain-dead college kids that offer to crew the yacht of a corrupt business man, in exchange for tagging along on a trip to the Cayman Islands. Little do they know that his business on the island is not exactly on the up-and-up… Nor do they know that the cute cat they brought aboard with them is an escaped genetic experiment, waiting to wreak havoc on them all!

If that sounds like a weirdly convoluted plot, then congratulations, you’re right up to speed! Listen up as we discuss demon cat-rats, disappointing makeup effects, and whether or not beastiality is consentual. Enjoy!


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Episode 90: The Guest (2014)

Welcome back, Citizens!
We jumped back in this week with Brittany’s pick, and after much consideration, she picked 2014’s The Guest, directed by Adam Wingard. Our good pal, Fallon, had recommended this flick with much enthusiasm, so who else would we invite to be OUR Guest on this episode?

After learning their son, Caleb, has died in the war in Afghanistan, the Peterson family is trying to hold it together and cope with their devastating loss. Soon after, they are visited by David- a fellow soldier, who claims that he was Caleb’s best friend, and is visiting them as Caleb had requested. David seems like a great guy- polite, reserved, helpful. He takes Caleb’s brother, Luke, under his wing and tries to help him deal with his high school bullies. He bonds with Caleb’s parents, and attracts the attention of Caleb’s sister, Anna. But soon strange things start happening, and Anna becomes increasingly suspicious of David, and sets out to discover who their house guest REALLY is…

This movie spans several genres and moods, and does so with surprising deftness. Listen up as we discuss a plethora of oddities, including: female attraction to intimidating sexuality, the fuckin’ rad synth soundtrack, erotic stabbings, and why sleeper-cell agents give weirdly good advice. Enjoy!


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